Once you have worked through the initial emotional, financial and legal implications of getting divorced, you will move into the next phase -- the details of the divorce settlement or agreement.  The divorce settlement is the final legal document that details:

• who will get what property after the marriage is ended,
• how your joint debts will be divided,
• who will be required to pay support (spousal support and/or child support) and how much, and
• the custody arrangements for the children.

As much as you may want to get through the divorce proceedings as quickly as possible, the divorce settlement will affect some very key aspects of your future such as your relationship with your children and your finances.  It’s very important that you take as much time as you need to consider what you want, what you need, and to get answers to any and every question you may have before signing anything. 

This can be a confusing time, not only because of your emotions, but also because you may be dealing with issues and things you have never dealt with before.  For example, up until this point you may have never worked with a lawyer, tried to get a copy of your credit report, paid your own taxes, or created a budget.  It can be very helpful to mentally divide the issues you are working through into categories – for example, legal issues, financial issues, childcare issues, etc.  It can seem less daunting to face and work through smaller subsets of decisions. 

By staying focused on exactly what you need and what questions you have you will be in a better position to make decisions and ask for help. This may be a great time for you to take trusted friends and family members up on their offers to help.  Once you know what you need (for example, to collect financial paperwork or schedule appointments with your lawyer), you are in a better position to ask for exactly the type of help you need most and whom you can ask for assistance.  For example, if you know that your spouse did not pay last year’s income taxes and you are now responsible for working with the IRS to solve your share of this problem, you could seek out a friend who is an accountant to ask for help.  Or you could ask her to recommend a tax attorney. 

The two most crucial things to remember during this period are:

• don’t rush into anything – take your time, and
• don’t be afraid to ask questions and to keep asking until you get the answers you need. 

So let’s look at some of the things you will need to work through as you move toward getting your divorce settlement.